Heating and air conditioning - If Men Wrote Advice Columns

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If Men Wrote Advice Columns

Cooltemp Industries

2006-02-08, 1:21 pm

If men wrote advice columns

Q: My husband wants to have a threesome with me and my best friend.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there
is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best
friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why
not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are
still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends
without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him
and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform
oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best
thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him
a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A
night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can
foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle
your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's
a great time to clean the house, too)! Just look at how emotional and
happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do
when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on
him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with
it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish
to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband
as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him
and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as
you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop
being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral
sex and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
without giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to
cook him a nice meal.

B-Hate-Me

2006-02-08, 5:21 pm

Beautiful!

Cooltemp Industries wrote:
> If men wrote advice columns
>
> Q: My husband wants to have a threesome with me and my best friend.
>
> A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there
> is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best
> friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why
> not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are
> still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends
> without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him
> and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
>
> Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
>
> A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
> skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform
> oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best
> thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him
> a nice meal.
>
> Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys
>
> A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
> Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A
> night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can
> foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle
> your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's
> a great time to clean the house, too)! Just look at how emotional and
> happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do
> when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on
> him. Then cook him a nice meal.
>
> Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
>
> A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with
> it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish
> to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband
> as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him
> and cook him a delicious meal.
>
> Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
>
> A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
> training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
> should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
> foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as
> you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop
> being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral
> sex and cooking him a nice meal.
>
> Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
> without giving me one.
>
> A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to
> cook him a nice meal.
>

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