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| I hate my job when it comes to funnies like this.
If the company thought police saw something like this ANYWHERE,
I would be fired in a HEARTBEAT.
so, I'm (cough, cough) going to have to stay home today, I guess.
keep 'em coming ;o)
-D.
"Cooltemp Industries" <gbroderick@sunlife.com> wrote in message
news:43EA1E7A.7040800@sunlife.com...
> If men wrote advice columns
>
> Q: My husband wants to have a threesome with me and my best friend.
>
> A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there
> is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best
> friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why
> not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are
> still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends
> without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him
> and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
>
> Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
>
> A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
> skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform
> oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best
> thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him
> a nice meal.
>
> Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys
>
> A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
> Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A
> night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can
> foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle
> your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's
> a great time to clean the house, too)! Just look at how emotional and
> happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do
> when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on
> him. Then cook him a nice meal.
>
> Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
>
> A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with
> it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish
> to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband
> as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him
> and cook him a delicious meal.
>
> Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
>
> A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
> training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
> should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
> foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as
> you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop
> being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral
> sex and cooking him a nice meal.
>
> Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
> without giving me one.
>
> A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to
> cook him a nice meal.
>
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