| Ken S. Tucker 2005-12-16, 5:21 pm |
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P Fritz wrote:
[squat deleted]
.........
> Had one of those in a hotel in Vienna, it was built into the open space fo
> the winding stairs.......the luggage would not fit.....they had bellhops
> schlep it up 5 floors. :-)
Fits "fritz" like a glove...............
"Narcissists are (a) extremely sensitive to personal criticism and
(b)
extremely critical of other people"
" There's no middle ground of ordinary normal humanity for
narcissists.
They can't tolerate the least disagreement. In fact, if you say,
"Please
don't do that again -- it hurts," narcissists will turn around and do
it
again harder to prove that they were right the first time"
"narcissists are habitually cruel in little ways, as well as big
ones,
because they're paying attention to their fantasy and not to you"
"no matter how gently you suggest that they might do better to change
their ways or get some help, they will react in one of two equally
horrible
ways: they will attack or they will withdraw."
"narcissists will say ANYTHING, they will trash anyone in their own
self-justification, and then they will expect the immediate restoration
of
the status quo. They will attack you (sometimes physically) and spew a
load
of bile, insult, abuse, contempt, threats, etc."
"The other "punishment" narcissists mete out is banishing you from
their
glorious presence"
"The narcissist expects that you will be devastated by the withdrawal
of
her/his divine attention, so that after a while -- a few weeks or
months
(i.e., the next time the narcissist needs to use you for something) --
the
narcissist will expect you to have learned your lesson and be eager to
return to the fold. If you have learned your lesson"
"They can't see that they have a problem; it's always somebody else
who
has the problem and needs to change"
"narcissists hate their real selves, they don't want to change --
they
want the world to change. And they criticize, gripe, and complain about
almost everything and almost everyone almost all the time. There are
usually
a favored few whom narcissists regard as absolutely above reproach,
even for
egregious misconduct or actual crime, and about whom they won't brook
the
slightest criticism. These are people the narcissists are terrified of,
though they'll tell you that what they feel is love and respect;
apparently
they don't know the difference between fear and love. Narcissists just
get
worse and worse as they grow older; their parents and other authority
figures that they've feared die off, and there's less and less outside
influence to keep them in check"
"Narcissists are hostile and ferocious in reaction, but they are
generally
passive and lacking in initiative"
"Narcissists are naive and vulnerable, pathetic really, no matter how
arrogant and forceful their words or demeanor. They have pretty good
reasons
for their paranoia and cynicism, their sneakiness, evasiveness,
prevarications. ...... They are so out of touch with other people and
what
goes on around them that they are very susceptible to exploitation. On
the
other hand, they're so inattentive, and so disconnected from what other
people are up to"
"Narcissists are grandiose. They live in an artificial self invented
from
fantasies of absolute or perfect power, genius, beauty, etc. Normal
people's
fantasies of themselves, their wishful thinking, take the form of
stories --
these stories often come from movies or TV, or from things they've read
or
that were read to them as children. They involve a plot, heroic
activity or
great accomplishments or adventure: normal people see themselves in
action,
however preposterous or even impossible that action may be -- they see
themselves doing things that earn them honor, glory, love, riches,
fame, and
they see these fantasy selves as personal potentials, however tenuous"
"Narcissists' fantasies are tableaux or scenes, stage sets;
narcissists
are hung up on a particular picture that they think reflects their true
selves (as opposed to the real self -- warts and all). Narcissists
don't see
themselves doing anything except being adored, and they don't see
anyone
else doing anything except adoring them. Moreover, they don't see these
images as potentials that they may some day be able to live out, if
they get
lucky or everything goes right: they see these pictures as the real way
they
want to be seen right now (which is not the same as saying they think
these
pictures are the way they really are right now, but that is another
story to
be discussed elsewhere). Sometimes narcissistic fantasies are
spectacularly
grandiose -- imagining themselves as Jesus or a saint or hero or deity
depicted in art -- but just as often the fantasies of narcissists are
mediocre and vulgar, concocted from illustrations in popular magazines,
sensational novels, comic books even. These artificial self fantasies
are
also static in time, going back unchanged to early adolescence or even
to
childhood; the narcissists' self-images don't change with time, so that
you
will find, for instance, female narcissists clinging to retro styles,
still
living the picture of the perfect woman of 1945 or 1965 as depicted in
The
Ladies' Home Journal or Seventeen or Vogue of that era, and male
narcissists
still hung up on images of comic-book or ripping adventure heroes from
their
youth. Though narcissists like pictures rather than stories, they like
still
pictures, not moving ones, so they don't base their fantasies on movies
or
TV."
"Narcissistic men can be infatuated with their own looks, too,
.............. but are more likely than women to get hung up on their
intelligence or the importance of their work -- doesn't matter what the
work
is, if he's doing it, by definition it's more important than anything
you
could possibly do"
"Narcissists have little sense of humor. They don't get jokes, not
even
the funny papers or simple riddles, and they don't make jokes, except
for
sarcastic cracks and the lamest puns. This is because, lacking empathy,
they
don't get the context and affect of words or actions, and jokes, humor,
comedy depend entirely on context and affect. They specialize in
sarcasm
about others and mistake it for wit"
"narcissistic adults have had decades of not being in synch with the
times
or with other people, so that by now they are really out of it.
Sometimes it
just seems like they have a highly selective memory -- which, of
course,
they do, sort of; they pay attention only to what has their name in it
in
the first place, so after 30 or 40 years"
"Narcissists are totally and inflexibly authoritarian. In other
words,
they are suck-ups. They want to be authority figures and, short of
that,
they want to be associated with authority figures. In their hearts,
they
know they can't think well, have no judgment about what matters, are
not
connected with the world they inhabit, so they cling fanatically to the
opinions of people they regard as authority figures -- such as their
parents, teachers, doctors, ministers. Where relevant, this may include
scientists or professors or artists, but narcissists stick to people
they
know personally, since they aren't engaged enough with the world to get
their authoritative opinions from TV, movies, books or dead
geniuses/saints/heroes. If they get in trouble over some or another
opinion
they've put forth, they'll blame the source -- "It was okay with Dr.
Somebody," "My father taught me that," etc."
"Narcissists have strange work habits. Normal people work for a goal
or a
product, even if the goal is only a paycheck. Normal people measure
things
by how much they have to spend (in time, work, energy) to get the
desired
results. Normal people desire idleness from time to time, usually
wanting as
much free time as they can get to pursue their own thoughts and
pleasures
and interests. Narcissists work for a goal, too, but it's a different
goal:
they want power, authority, adulation. Lacking empathy, and lacking
also
context and affect, narcissists don't understand how people achieve
glory
and high standing; they think it's all arbitrary, it's all appearances,
it's
all who you know. So they try to attach themselves to people who
already
have what they want, meanwhile making a great show of working hard."
"Narcissists feel entitled to whatever they can take. They expect
privileges and indulgences, and they also feel entitled to exploit
other
people without any trace of reciprocation"
"They can be pretty nice, even charming, flirtatious, and seductive,
to
strangers, and will flatter you shamelessly if they want something from
you.
When you attempt to get close to them in a normal way, they feel you
are
putting emotional pressure on them and they withdraw because you're too
demanding. They can be positively fawning and solicitous as long as
they're
afraid of you, which is not most people's idea of a real fun
relationship."
"Narcissists don't volunteer the usual personal information about
themselves, so they may seem secretive or perhaps unusually reserved or
very
jealous of their privacy. All these things are true, but with the
special
narcissistic twist that, first, their real life isn't interesting to
them so
it doesn't occur to them that it would be interesting to anyone else
and,
second, since they have not yet been transfigured into the Star of the
Universe, they're ashamed of their real life. They feel that their
jobs,
their friends and families, their homes and possessions aren't good
enough
for them, they deserve better. "
"Narcissists not only don't recognize the feelings and autonomy of
others,
they don't recognize their own feelings as their own. Their feelings
are
sort of like the weather, atmospheric, acts of God. The narcissistic
think
that everyone's having the same feeling as they are. This means that
usually
their own pain means nothing to them beyond the physical discomfort --
it
has no affective component"
"Narcissists are noted for their negative, pessimistic, cynical, or
gloomy
outlook on life. Sarcasm seems to be a narcissistic specialty, not to
mention spite. Lacking love and pleasure, they don't have a good reason
for
anything they do and they think everyone else is just like them, except
they're honest and the rest of us are hypocrites. Nothing real is ever
perfect enough to satisfy them, so are they are constantly complaining
and
criticizing -- to the point of verbal abuse and insult. "
"Narcissists hate to live alone. Their inner resources are skimpy,
static,
and sterile, nothing interesting or attractive going on in their hearts
and
minds, so they don't want to be stuck with themselves. All they have
inside
is the image of perfection that, being mere mortals like the rest of
us,
they will inevitably fall short of attaining"
Yes.....it fits "fritz" like a glove
Ken, am I good or what, sure dinged cuffed Fritz'yy on one
side of his bone head...anyway, I'm a bit tired of all that
typing and creativity and all.
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