| P Fritz 2005-12-16, 5:21 pm |
| <YAWN>
"Ken S. Tucker" <dynamics@vianet.on.ca> wrote in message
news:1134766206.282948.134930@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
> P Fritz wrote:
> [squat deleted]
> ........
>
fo[color=darkred]
>
> Fits "fritz" like a glove...............
>
> "Narcissists are (a) extremely sensitive to personal criticism and
> (b)
> extremely critical of other people"
>
> " There's no middle ground of ordinary normal humanity for
> narcissists.
> They can't tolerate the least disagreement. In fact, if you say,
> "Please
> don't do that again -- it hurts," narcissists will turn around and do
> it
> again harder to prove that they were right the first time"
>
> "narcissists are habitually cruel in little ways, as well as big
> ones,
> because they're paying attention to their fantasy and not to you"
>
> "no matter how gently you suggest that they might do better to change
> their ways or get some help, they will react in one of two equally
> horrible
> ways: they will attack or they will withdraw."
>
> "narcissists will say ANYTHING, they will trash anyone in their own
> self-justification, and then they will expect the immediate restoration
> of
> the status quo. They will attack you (sometimes physically) and spew a
> load
> of bile, insult, abuse, contempt, threats, etc."
>
> "The other "punishment" narcissists mete out is banishing you from
> their
> glorious presence"
>
> "The narcissist expects that you will be devastated by the withdrawal
> of
> her/his divine attention, so that after a while -- a few weeks or
> months
> (i.e., the next time the narcissist needs to use you for something) --
> the
> narcissist will expect you to have learned your lesson and be eager to
> return to the fold. If you have learned your lesson"
>
> "They can't see that they have a problem; it's always somebody else
> who
> has the problem and needs to change"
>
> "narcissists hate their real selves, they don't want to change --
> they
> want the world to change. And they criticize, gripe, and complain about
> almost everything and almost everyone almost all the time. There are
> usually
> a favored few whom narcissists regard as absolutely above reproach,
> even for
> egregious misconduct or actual crime, and about whom they won't brook
> the
> slightest criticism. These are people the narcissists are terrified of,
> though they'll tell you that what they feel is love and respect;
> apparently
> they don't know the difference between fear and love. Narcissists just
> get
> worse and worse as they grow older; their parents and other authority
> figures that they've feared die off, and there's less and less outside
> influence to keep them in check"
>
> "Narcissists are hostile and ferocious in reaction, but they are
> generally
> passive and lacking in initiative"
>
> "Narcissists are naive and vulnerable, pathetic really, no matter how
> arrogant and forceful their words or demeanor. They have pretty good
> reasons
> for their paranoia and cynicism, their sneakiness, evasiveness,
> prevarications. ...... They are so out of touch with other people and
> what
> goes on around them that they are very susceptible to exploitation. On
> the
> other hand, they're so inattentive, and so disconnected from what other
> people are up to"
>
> "Narcissists are grandiose. They live in an artificial self invented
> from
> fantasies of absolute or perfect power, genius, beauty, etc. Normal
> people's
> fantasies of themselves, their wishful thinking, take the form of
> stories --
> these stories often come from movies or TV, or from things they've read
> or
> that were read to them as children. They involve a plot, heroic
> activity or
> great accomplishments or adventure: normal people see themselves in
> action,
> however preposterous or even impossible that action may be -- they see
> themselves doing things that earn them honor, glory, love, riches,
> fame, and
> they see these fantasy selves as personal potentials, however tenuous"
>
> "Narcissists' fantasies are tableaux or scenes, stage sets;
> narcissists
> are hung up on a particular picture that they think reflects their true
> selves (as opposed to the real self -- warts and all). Narcissists
> don't see
> themselves doing anything except being adored, and they don't see
> anyone
> else doing anything except adoring them. Moreover, they don't see these
> images as potentials that they may some day be able to live out, if
> they get
> lucky or everything goes right: they see these pictures as the real way
> they
> want to be seen right now (which is not the same as saying they think
> these
> pictures are the way they really are right now, but that is another
> story to
> be discussed elsewhere). Sometimes narcissistic fantasies are
> spectacularly
> grandiose -- imagining themselves as Jesus or a saint or hero or deity
> depicted in art -- but just as often the fantasies of narcissists are
> mediocre and vulgar, concocted from illustrations in popular magazines,
> sensational novels, comic books even. These artificial self fantasies
> are
> also static in time, going back unchanged to early adolescence or even
> to
> childhood; the narcissists' self-images don't change with time, so that
> you
> will find, for instance, female narcissists clinging to retro styles,
> still
> living the picture of the perfect woman of 1945 or 1965 as depicted in
> The
> Ladies' Home Journal or Seventeen or Vogue of that era, and male
> narcissists
> still hung up on images of comic-book or ripping adventure heroes from
> their
> youth. Though narcissists like pictures rather than stories, they like
> still
> pictures, not moving ones, so they don't base their fantasies on movies
> or
> TV."
>
> "Narcissistic men can be infatuated with their own looks, too,
> ............. but are more likely than women to get hung up on their
> intelligence or the importance of their work -- doesn't matter what the
> work
> is, if he's doing it, by definition it's more important than anything
> you
> could possibly do"
>
> "Narcissists have little sense of humor. They don't get jokes, not
> even
> the funny papers or simple riddles, and they don't make jokes, except
> for
> sarcastic cracks and the lamest puns. This is because, lacking empathy,
> they
> don't get the context and affect of words or actions, and jokes, humor,
> comedy depend entirely on context and affect. They specialize in
> sarcasm
> about others and mistake it for wit"
>
> "narcissistic adults have had decades of not being in synch with the
> times
> or with other people, so that by now they are really out of it.
> Sometimes it
> just seems like they have a highly selective memory -- which, of
> course,
> they do, sort of; they pay attention only to what has their name in it
> in
> the first place, so after 30 or 40 years"
>
> "Narcissists are totally and inflexibly authoritarian. In other
> words,
> they are suck-ups. They want to be authority figures and, short of
> that,
> they want to be associated with authority figures. In their hearts,
> they
> know they can't think well, have no judgment about what matters, are
> not
> connected with the world they inhabit, so they cling fanatically to the
> opinions of people they regard as authority figures -- such as their
> parents, teachers, doctors, ministers. Where relevant, this may include
> scientists or professors or artists, but narcissists stick to people
> they
> know personally, since they aren't engaged enough with the world to get
> their authoritative opinions from TV, movies, books or dead
> geniuses/saints/heroes. If they get in trouble over some or another
> opinion
> they've put forth, they'll blame the source -- "It was okay with Dr.
> Somebody," "My father taught me that," etc."
>
> "Narcissists have strange work habits. Normal people work for a goal
> or a
> product, even if the goal is only a paycheck. Normal people measure
> things
> by how much they have to spend (in time, work, energy) to get the
> desired
> results. Normal people desire idleness from time to time, usually
> wanting as
> much free time as they can get to pursue their own thoughts and
> pleasures
> and interests. Narcissists work for a goal, too, but it's a different
> goal:
> they want power, authority, adulation. Lacking empathy, and lacking
> also
> context and affect, narcissists don't understand how people achieve
> glory
> and high standing; they think it's all arbitrary, it's all appearances,
> it's
> all who you know. So they try to attach themselves to people who
> already
> have what they want, meanwhile making a great show of working hard."
>
> "Narcissists feel entitled to whatever they can take. They expect
> privileges and indulgences, and they also feel entitled to exploit
> other
> people without any trace of reciprocation"
>
> "They can be pretty nice, even charming, flirtatious, and seductive,
> to
> strangers, and will flatter you shamelessly if they want something from
> you.
> When you attempt to get close to them in a normal way, they feel you
> are
> putting emotional pressure on them and they withdraw because you're too
> demanding. They can be positively fawning and solicitous as long as
> they're
> afraid of you, which is not most people's idea of a real fun
> relationship."
>
> "Narcissists don't volunteer the usual personal information about
> themselves, so they may seem secretive or perhaps unusually reserved or
> very
> jealous of their privacy. All these things are true, but with the
> special
> narcissistic twist that, first, their real life isn't interesting to
> them so
> it doesn't occur to them that it would be interesting to anyone else
> and,
> second, since they have not yet been transfigured into the Star of the
> Universe, they're ashamed of their real life. They feel that their
> jobs,
> their friends and families, their homes and possessions aren't good
> enough
> for them, they deserve better. "
>
> "Narcissists not only don't recognize the feelings and autonomy of
> others,
> they don't recognize their own feelings as their own. Their feelings
> are
> sort of like the weather, atmospheric, acts of God. The narcissistic
> think
> that everyone's having the same feeling as they are. This means that
> usually
> their own pain means nothing to them beyond the physical discomfort --
> it
> has no affective component"
>
> "Narcissists are noted for their negative, pessimistic, cynical, or
> gloomy
> outlook on life. Sarcasm seems to be a narcissistic specialty, not to
> mention spite. Lacking love and pleasure, they don't have a good reason
> for
> anything they do and they think everyone else is just like them, except
> they're honest and the rest of us are hypocrites. Nothing real is ever
> perfect enough to satisfy them, so are they are constantly complaining
> and
> criticizing -- to the point of verbal abuse and insult. "
>
> "Narcissists hate to live alone. Their inner resources are skimpy,
> static,
> and sterile, nothing interesting or attractive going on in their hearts
> and
> minds, so they don't want to be stuck with themselves. All they have
> inside
> is the image of perfection that, being mere mortals like the rest of
> us,
> they will inevitably fall short of attaining"
>
> Yes.....it fits "fritz" like a glove
>
> Ken, am I good or what, sure dinged cuffed Fritz'yy on one
> side of his bone head...anyway, I'm a bit tired of all that
> typing and creativity and all.
>
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