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I think I might be a clutterer
|
|
|
| I think I might be a clutterer. I watched "captured" last night on MSNBC
and they showed the story about compulsive clutterers. I wasn't near as
bad as the people hightlighted but I have to say I have a difficult time
keeping my house in a clean state. I have a dog, a cat and two almost
teenage kids, who of course wouldn't know a mop, broom, vacuum or
washing machine if I beat them with them. Nothing is every clean in my
house. Plus forget about organizing, if I put it away it shows up in
another place about 30 minutes later.
Anyone else in the same spot?
Holly
| |
| Phisherman 2006-08-10, 8:25 pm |
| On Thu, 10 Aug 2006 22:18:44 GMT, Holly
<HollyDuChamps_1@hotmailnospam.com> wrote:
>I think I might be a clutterer. I watched "captured" last night on MSNBC
>and they showed the story about compulsive clutterers. I wasn't near as
>bad as the people hightlighted but I have to say I have a difficult time
>keeping my house in a clean state. I have a dog, a cat and two almost
>teenage kids, who of course wouldn't know a mop, broom, vacuum or
>washing machine if I beat them with them. Nothing is every clean in my
>house. Plus forget about organizing, if I put it away it shows up in
>another place about 30 minutes later.
>
>Anyone else in the same spot?
>
>Holly
I'm just the opposite. I've been in this large house for 14 years. No
pictures on the walls, yet I paint pictures. Three rooms without
furniture, yet I design/build furniture. No draperies, just blinds or
bare windows. No pets. No TV. No couch. There's an echo in every
room. All the rooms are builder's white. People ask if I had just
moved in or the place feels like a hospital. Simple is good. Cleaning
is fast and easy while listening to radio, sometimes Internet radio.
I like it.
| |
| -Calliope- 2006-08-10, 8:25 pm |
| On Thu 10 Aug 2006 06:18:44p, Holly wrote:
> I think I might be a clutterer. I watched "captured" last night on MSNBC
> and they showed the story about compulsive clutterers. I wasn't near as
> bad as the people hightlighted but I have to say I have a difficult time
> keeping my house in a clean state. I have a dog, a cat and two almost
> teenage kids, who of course wouldn't know a mop, broom, vacuum or
> washing machine if I beat them with them. Nothing is every clean in my
> house. Plus forget about organizing, if I put it away it shows up in
> another place about 30 minutes later.
>
> Anyone else in the same spot?
>
Me.
The odd thing is, at work I am known for my organization. At home, I'm a
total wreck. I've been asked why I don't think I deserve to live in the
same kind of enviornment as I do at work. I wish I knew..
--
Cal~
calliope 123 at gmail dot com
| |
| New Leaf 2006-08-10, 8:25 pm |
|
-Calliope- wrote:
> On Thu 10 Aug 2006 06:18:44p, Holly wrote:
>
>
> Me.
>
> The odd thing is, at work I am known for my organization. At home, I'm a
> total wreck. I've been asked why I don't think I deserve to live in the
> same kind of enviornment as I do at work. I wish I knew..
>
> --
> Cal~
>
> calliope 123 at gmail dot com
My sister did a detailed personality test at work and it came out that
work or home surroundings aren't important to her. She was shocked by
that, as she has a keen interest in design and of what she would like
her home to look like. After speaking to the HR person in charge of the
testing, she realized it was a defense mechanism after years of not
being able to afford decent furniture and of having her kids make huge
messes that she didn't have the energy to clean. She had talked herself
into that attitude, even though it wasn't true.
Viv
| |
| New Leaf 2006-08-10, 8:25 pm |
|
Holly wrote:
> I think I might be a clutterer. I watched "captured" last night on MSNBC
> and they showed the story about compulsive clutterers. I wasn't near as
> bad as the people hightlighted but I have to say I have a difficult time
> keeping my house in a clean state. I have a dog, a cat and two almost
> teenage kids, who of course wouldn't know a mop, broom, vacuum or
> washing machine if I beat them with them. Nothing is every clean in my
> house. Plus forget about organizing, if I put it away it shows up in
> another place about 30 minutes later.
>
> Anyone else in the same spot?
>
> Holly
Do you think you are a clutterer, or just in a situation where other
people are controlling your environment? It doesn't matter. You will
still get some good ideas here on how to make your surroundings fit
your dream of how it should look.
Viv
| |
| Mrs Bonk 2006-08-10, 8:25 pm |
| Phisherman wrote:
> On Thu, 10 Aug 2006 22:18:44 GMT, Holly
> <HollyDuChamps_1@hotmailnospam.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> I'm just the opposite. I've been in this large house for 14 years. No
> pictures on the walls, yet I paint pictures. Three rooms without
> furniture, yet I design/build furniture. No draperies, just blinds or
> bare windows. No pets. No TV. No couch. There's an echo in every
> room. All the rooms are builder's white. People ask if I had just
> moved in or the place feels like a hospital. Simple is good. Cleaning
> is fast and easy while listening to radio, sometimes Internet radio.
> I like it.
I too prefer the minimalist look and find it far easier to clean but only
realistically achievable when I am the sole occupant of my home.
| |
| Putzfräulein 2006-08-11, 3:25 am |
|
New Leaf wrote:
>
> -Calliope- wrote:
>
[color=darkred]
>
> My sister did a detailed personality test at work and it came out that
> work or home surroundings aren't important to her. She was shocked by
> that, as she has a keen interest in design and of what she would like
> her home to look like. After speaking to the HR person in charge of the
> testing, she realized it was a defense mechanism after years of not
> being able to afford decent furniture and of having her kids make huge
> messes that she didn't have the energy to clean. She had talked herself
> into that attitude, even though it wasn't true.
>
> Viv
Folks,
There's a novel-made-into-a-film called _Housekeeping_ by Mari-
lynne Robinson. Has anyone here either read the book or seen the
movie? It's very good, worth reading/viewing! One character is
the grown sister (aunt) of the two little girls who are left in a
small town by their beautiful mother, who having given up on life,
drives her car subsequently into a lake.
Their aunt is a dyed-in-the-wool "collector" . . .what we'd
define here as a serious "clutterer"! She's the kind who holds
onto old newspapers, empty tin cans . . .has indeed a house filled
with such stuff! (I have a vague recollection that I've recommended
this novel/film here before!) The sisters try to "hang" (as young
folks say today" together in their shock & loneliness at first, but
it becomes eventually clear that they are quite different in person-
ality, one developing an appreciation of the aunt with all her
"eccentricities," while the other has perhaps traits inherited from
their beautiful, stylish mother, so gravitates toward a very differ-
ent lifestyle & seeks a way to realize her dreams.
I think that, in addition to my parents having been prone, esp.
as they aged, to "collect" one reason for their tendency was having
"gone without" (one of the suggestions already given). Surely this
was another underlying motivator for both our parents. Having
lived through "hard times" (the Great Depression, it was understand-
able that, as years later, they became able to afford to decorate
their suburban home and to collect things that they liked, they'd
go over- board, "hoarding" stuff, more & more & more, over the years!
Eventually, of course (as I've mentioned somewhere earlier), they
became less & less able to do any of the sort of "sorting & discard-
ing" that we are trying to do & describe here . . .it simply became a
physical impossibility. At that point, they were lucky to have devot-
ed kids and their spouses to pitch in and tackle the monumental job
of discarding most of what they'd accumulated over many years on
their own!
After our father died, however, Mom became, it seemed, even more
inclined to order all sorts of "knickknacks" that she saw in mail or-
der flyers that are targetted at buyers like her! She went really
overboard, and the problem could only be brought under control once
my bro' and his very organized wife moved into her house to share it
with her, as being right on the spot enabled them to discard most of
these flyers before she got a whiff of 'em! -- They live elsewhere
now, in the "country home of their dreams", Mom still with them, and
they are still on the ball about sorting her mail before she sees it!
Truth be told (as I've confessed somewhere here recently on another
thread), I inherited that trait myself, which is the major reason that
I avoid the garage/yard sales that my partner Sean loves so much! I'd
really like to succeed, as most everyone here would, in NOT travelling
that road that some of our parents did in creating such big problems
with "too much stuff", which grew & grew till it bordered on "unmanage-
able!"
Y'know, though, it IS an awfully big challenge! That is WHY we're
here, after all, seeking to share our experiences and gain insights
that may motivate us to keep at it, to change our tendencies (for some
of us) to follow in parental footsteps! (D'y'know that when I finished
high school, the first thing that I did was to take a couple of Adult
Education courses, one of which was _Home Decorating_!) And folks, I
have still that longing, over thirty years later, to succeed at long
last in creating a comfortable living space for myself & so that I can
invite folks in without feeling embarrassed & that I have to apologize
for the cluttered state of things!
Well, I hope that all of us will find our reward HERE as we share in-
sights that may lead to the fulfillment of our dreams. After all, I
know I don' wanna wait till the "Hereafter" to be able to call my place,
"Home, Sweet Home"! ;-)
"Putzfräulein"
| |
| Helen Hall 2006-08-11, 9:25 am |
| In message <Xns981BC5A093FA919599491@207.217.125.201>, -Calliope-
<calliope123remove@removegmail.com> writes
>On Thu 10 Aug 2006 06:18:44p, Holly wrote:
>
>
>Me.
>
That was me about 10-15 years ago. :-( The house is finally looking
better, but it's taking years to get things how I want them now the
children are grown up and have homes of their own. I *still* have some
boxes of their stuff in the garage.
>The odd thing is, at work I am known for my organization. At home, I'm a
>total wreck. I've been asked why I don't think I deserve to live in the
>same kind of enviornment as I do at work. I wish I knew..
>
I think it's a matter of what you have control over. People look at the
boot (trunk) of my car where I have all my handouts and files neatly
arranged in plastic boxes. (Because I teach in several different
centres, my car is my mobile office.) They often say things like: "Oh,
your house must be so organised."
I wish! Though I am slowly getting there. But at work there's only my
own stuff to organise and there's only me who uses it. I used to get so
weary of clearing up and cleaning the house when 5 minutes later, the
horde would come in and trample all over it and have stuff strewn about
again.
If you haven't already come across them, I got an awful lot of benefit
from Julie Morgenstern's book _Organising from the Inside Out_. It has
so many ideas on how to organise and store things in such a way that
they're always handy and easy to put away once finished with. She
provided me with a lot of basic organisation skills that I had never
managed to learn when I was younger.
Good luck with the constant battle!
Helen
--
Helen, Gwynedd, Wales *** http://www.baradel.demon.co.uk
| |
|
| Holly <HollyDuChamps_1@hotmailnospam.com> wrote in
news:MPG.1f454fe5de06bca49896ab@news.gte.net:
> I think I might be a clutterer. I watched "captured" last night on MSNBC
> and they showed the story about compulsive clutterers. I wasn't near as
> bad as the people hightlighted but I have to say I have a difficult time
> keeping my house in a clean state. I have a dog, a cat and two almost
> teenage kids, who of course wouldn't know a mop, broom, vacuum or
> washing machine if I beat them with them. Nothing is every clean in my
> house. Plus forget about organizing, if I put it away it shows up in
> another place about 30 minutes later.
>
> Anyone else in the same spot?
>
> Holly
>
Oh boy, I saw the same show and I cross my fingers hoping you are not like
those people on the show. Especially if you have kids. Kids pick up bad
habits. Do you only have one pathway in your house and the rest of the
place is riddled with stuff that you need to get to?
| |
|
| No, I wasn't really serious about having a serious clutter problem.
Well, people with problems, do they ever admit or know that they have
them? I was just complaing that regardless of what day it is, my house
especially my floors always look dirty. And, I haven't thrown out the
daily newspaper in about three years.
Holly
| |
|
| Holly <HollyDuChamps_1@hotmailnospam.com> wrote in
news:MPG.1f4bbbf4dfb0d0269896ac@news.gte.net:
> No, I wasn't really serious about having a serious clutter problem.
> Well, people with problems, do they ever admit or know that they have
> them? I was just complaing that regardless of what day it is, my house
> especially my floors always look dirty. And, I haven't thrown out the
> daily newspaper in about three years.
>
> Holly
>
You haven't thrown out newspapers for three years? Where do you keep them?
It sounds like you have your hands full with kids and animals. I have a
recommendation. My friend who seems void of time these days just got a
robotic vacuum and mopper. I believe they are called the Roomba and Scooba.
I was over her house the other day and she showed them at work. They did a
good job. She said she uses them daily and she doesn't really have to do
much. Turns them on and does other things. It is a thought and it could
clear up some of that clutter on the floor!
| |
| New Leaf 2006-08-15, 5:25 pm |
|
Julie wrote:
> You haven't thrown out newspapers for three years? Where do you keep them?
> It sounds like you have your hands full with kids and animals. I have a
> recommendation. My friend who seems void of time these days just got a
> robotic vacuum and mopper. I believe they are called the Roomba and Scooba.
> I was over her house the other day and she showed them at work. They did a
> good job. She said she uses them daily and she doesn't really have to do
> much. Turns them on and does other things. It is a thought and it could
> clear up some of that clutter on the floor!
My niece was thinking of buying the Roomba as a surprise for my sister.
Even with brushing their retriever daily there is a lot of hair
floating around. We were thinking, though, that the Roomba might need
to be emptied daily.
Viv
| |
| Stormmee 2006-08-16, 3:25 am |
| no kids, six cats and am terminally lazy, Lee
Holly <HollyDuChamps_1@hotmailnospam.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.1f454fe5de06bca49896ab@news.gte.net...
> I think I might be a clutterer. I watched "captured" last night on MSNBC
> and they showed the story about compulsive clutterers. I wasn't near as
> bad as the people hightlighted but I have to say I have a difficult time
> keeping my house in a clean state. I have a dog, a cat and two almost
> teenage kids, who of course wouldn't know a mop, broom, vacuum or
> washing machine if I beat them with them. Nothing is every clean in my
> house. Plus forget about organizing, if I put it away it shows up in
> another place about 30 minutes later.
>
> Anyone else in the same spot?
>
> Holly
| |
| Stormmee 2006-08-16, 3:25 am |
| nice post, Lee
Putzfräulein <no.spam@no.spam> wrote in message
news:44DC1869.7D708765@no.spam...
>
>
> New Leaf wrote:
>
>
> Folks,
>
> There's a novel-made-into-a-film called _Housekeeping_ by Mari-
> lynne Robinson. Has anyone here either read the book or seen the
> movie? It's very good, worth reading/viewing! One character is
> the grown sister (aunt) of the two little girls who are left in a
> small town by their beautiful mother, who having given up on life,
> drives her car subsequently into a lake.
>
> Their aunt is a dyed-in-the-wool "collector" . . .what we'd
> define here as a serious "clutterer"! She's the kind who holds
> onto old newspapers, empty tin cans . . .has indeed a house filled
> with such stuff! (I have a vague recollection that I've recommended
> this novel/film here before!) The sisters try to "hang" (as young
> folks say today" together in their shock & loneliness at first, but
> it becomes eventually clear that they are quite different in person-
> ality, one developing an appreciation of the aunt with all her
> "eccentricities," while the other has perhaps traits inherited from
> their beautiful, stylish mother, so gravitates toward a very differ-
> ent lifestyle & seeks a way to realize her dreams.
>
> I think that, in addition to my parents having been prone, esp.
> as they aged, to "collect" one reason for their tendency was having
> "gone without" (one of the suggestions already given). Surely this
> was another underlying motivator for both our parents. Having
> lived through "hard times" (the Great Depression, it was understand-
> able that, as years later, they became able to afford to decorate
> their suburban home and to collect things that they liked, they'd
> go over- board, "hoarding" stuff, more & more & more, over the years!
>
> Eventually, of course (as I've mentioned somewhere earlier), they
> became less & less able to do any of the sort of "sorting & discard-
> ing" that we are trying to do & describe here . . .it simply became a
> physical impossibility. At that point, they were lucky to have devot-
> ed kids and their spouses to pitch in and tackle the monumental job
> of discarding most of what they'd accumulated over many years on
> their own!
>
> After our father died, however, Mom became, it seemed, even more
> inclined to order all sorts of "knickknacks" that she saw in mail or-
> der flyers that are targetted at buyers like her! She went really
> overboard, and the problem could only be brought under control once
> my bro' and his very organized wife moved into her house to share it
> with her, as being right on the spot enabled them to discard most of
> these flyers before she got a whiff of 'em! -- They live elsewhere
> now, in the "country home of their dreams", Mom still with them, and
> they are still on the ball about sorting her mail before she sees it!
>
> Truth be told (as I've confessed somewhere here recently on another
> thread), I inherited that trait myself, which is the major reason that
> I avoid the garage/yard sales that my partner Sean loves so much! I'd
> really like to succeed, as most everyone here would, in NOT travelling
> that road that some of our parents did in creating such big problems
> with "too much stuff", which grew & grew till it bordered on "unmanage-
> able!"
>
> Y'know, though, it IS an awfully big challenge! That is WHY we're
> here, after all, seeking to share our experiences and gain insights
> that may motivate us to keep at it, to change our tendencies (for some
> of us) to follow in parental footsteps! (D'y'know that when I finished
> high school, the first thing that I did was to take a couple of Adult
> education courses, one of which was _Home Decorating_!) And folks, I
> have still that longing, over thirty years later, to succeed at long
> last in creating a comfortable living space for myself & so that I can
> invite folks in without feeling embarrassed & that I have to apologize
> for the cluttered state of things!
>
> Well, I hope that all of us will find our reward HERE as we share in-
> sights that may lead to the fulfillment of our dreams. After all, I
> know I don' wanna wait till the "Hereafter" to be able to call my place,
> "Home, Sweet Home"! ;-)
>
> "Putzfräulein"
| |
| Stormmee 2006-08-16, 3:25 am |
| second this, have the first one and love it, Lee
Julie <Julie2Flowers@nospamearthlink.net> wrote in message
news:PypEg.9164$0e5.6848@newsread4.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> Holly <HollyDuChamps_1@hotmailnospam.com> wrote in
> news:MPG.1f4bbbf4dfb0d0269896ac@news.gte.net:
>
>
> You haven't thrown out newspapers for three years? Where do you keep them?
> It sounds like you have your hands full with kids and animals. I have a
> recommendation. My friend who seems void of time these days just got a
> robotic vacuum and mopper. I believe they are called the Roomba and
Scooba.
> I was over her house the other day and she showed them at work. They did a
> good job. She said she uses them daily and she doesn't really have to do
> much. Turns them on and does other things. It is a thought and it could
> clear up some of that clutter on the floor!
| |
| Stormmee 2006-08-16, 3:25 am |
| yes it does but it is worth the time as you can be doing other things while
it works and when you see what it gets by itself you are more than happy to
do the empty, Lee
New Leaf <nootka@rogers.com> wrote in message
news:1155676866.620198.233010@i3g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
>
> Julie wrote:
them?[color=darkred]
Scooba.[color=darkred]
a[color=darkred]
>
> My niece was thinking of buying the Roomba as a surprise for my sister.
> Even with brushing their retriever daily there is a lot of hair
> floating around. We were thinking, though, that the Roomba might need
> to be emptied daily.
>
> Viv
>
| |
|
|
"Holly" <HollyDuChamps_1@hotmailnospam.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.1f454fe5de06bca49896ab@news.gte.net...
>I think I might be a clutterer. I watched "captured" last night on MSNBC
> and they showed the story about compulsive clutterers. I wasn't near as
> bad as the people hightlighted but I have to say I have a difficult time
> keeping my house in a clean state. I have a dog, a cat and two almost
> teenage kids, who of course wouldn't know a mop, broom, vacuum or
> washing machine if I beat them with them. Nothing is every clean in my
> house. Plus forget about organizing, if I put it away it shows up in
> another place about 30 minutes later.
>
> Anyone else in the same spot?
>
> Holly
I sure am...
Basically what you described is the same over here... We have a cat, a dog,
a bunch of fish tanks full of fish, chinchillas... Not to mention boys that
are 5 and a half and 6 and a half, a girl that is a year and one more due in
October... The 5 year old seems to have a thing with paper, pens/pencils and
scissors... I find random papers cut up to little shreds all over the place,
not to mention toys EVERYWHERE... I have a hubby who just kind of leaves
things around, and I seem to have a problem keeping this place in order. I
do think there's just too much junk for the space I have. I've thought
about just trashing/giving away/selling/boxing up EVERYTHING, but then I
figure that's pointless as things tend to grow legs and appear where I just
picked them up from or in another random place they don't belong. Why I
find dishes in the bathroom is beyond me, and I'm not sure how many times
I've found toys on the stairs, under tables, pens under the rugs...
Cleaning everything up is such a chore 
| |
| val189 2006-08-16, 1:25 pm |
|
xkatx wrote:
.... I have a hubby who just kind of leaves
> things around,
You have FOUR children there, not three.......why isn't he willing to
give you a hand? Have you had a mature discussion with him about this?
Can you get some hired help for a while? I hear the strain in your
post.
Maybe others here with a brood can make suggestions. Guys?
| |
| MAmadurk 2006-08-16, 1:25 pm |
|
"xkatx" <xkatx@none.com> wrote in message
news:_JyEg.9285$365.7250@edtnps89...
>
> "Holly" <HollyDuChamps_1@hotmailnospam.com> wrote in message
> news:MPG.1f454fe5de06bca49896ab@news.gte.net...
>
> I sure am...
> Basically what you described is the same over here... We have a cat, a
> dog, a bunch of fish tanks full of fish, chinchillas... Not to mention
> boys that are 5 and a half and 6 and a half, a girl that is a year and one
> more due in October... The 5 year old seems to have a thing with paper,
> pens/pencils and scissors... I find random papers cut up to little shreds
> all over the place, not to mention toys EVERYWHERE...
I locked every pair of scissors wee owned in a box (security type lock box)
once for a LONG time. Scissors became a "controlled sunstance" for this
very reason.
> Cleaning everything up is such a chore
It is very hard to keep up with normal housework without having to
constantly monitor who is doing what where all the time.
I'm with you sis-tah!!!
MAmadurk
--
I don't consider myself a book collector. I just have books,
the way one has air to breathe. -N. Hilyard
I cannot live without books. -Thomas Jefferson
| |
| Jenn/Jalynne 2006-08-16, 1:25 pm |
| And here I thought I was the only one who locked up the scissors.
--
Jenn/Jalynne
quilting, beads, scrapbooking, cross stitch and other 'crafti' obsessions
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jalynne29/my_photos
Live! http://kinneykreations.com
> I locked every pair of scissors wee owned in a box (security type lock
> box) once for a LONG time. Scissors became a "controlled sunstance" for
> this very reason.
>
>
> It is very hard to keep up with normal housework without having to
> constantly monitor who is doing what where all the time.
>
> I'm with you sis-tah!!!
>
>
>
> MAmadurk
> --
> I don't consider myself a book collector. I just have books,
> the way one has air to breathe. -N. Hilyard
>
> I cannot live without books. -Thomas Jefferson
>
>
| |
|
|
"val189" <gwehrenb@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
news:1155743570.920043.58850@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...
>
> xkatx wrote:
> ... I have a hubby who just kind of leaves
>
> You have FOUR children there, not three.......why isn't he willing to
> give you a hand?
I've actually had that same thought come to mind... He does help, on
occasion, but he figures that since he's the one that works now, he
shouldn't have to do everything around the house.
> Have you had a mature discussion with him about this?
Yes, although I'm not sure 'mature' goes hand in hand with him at times. He
hounds the boys to take their dishes from the table after meals - very good
habit to get into, AFAIC, yet *I* pick up his dishes, which drives me mad.
If I point it out as he's leaving the table, I'm nagging.
I've left his dirty plate on the table until the next meal and then I end up
just picking it up anyways (about 50% of the time) I also refuse to pick up
his laundry. I make a call about laundry before I start to sort and do it -
I round up mine and the baby's clothes, the boys have to have ALL their
dirty clothes in the baskets provided in their rooms or they don't have
clean clothes and the same for DH, but he usually doesn't pick up his
clothes. If I do clearly look swamped with everything around the house, he
DOES help, but that seems to be when I'm at the point of desperation. He
then just goes and does MAJOR cleaning on his own and gets it done fast with
a, "See? It didn't take long and wasn't hard!" - try that with 3 little
ones running behind you!
> Can you get some hired help for a while? I hear the strain in your
> post.
>
> Maybe others here with a brood can make suggestions. Guys?
Hired help is kind of out of the question, as there's not enough money to
hire someone to do what needs to always be done! lol
I am thinking, though, to swallow my pride and see if my mom is available
one day to help me get everything in order... Sort through what is needed
and what isn't, toss, give away, garage sale whatever is garbage, unwanted,
not used... I look around and wonder what's going on around here! There's
just too much stuff for this little space, but I'm sure a lot of it could go
and not be missed.
ANY suggestions would probably help! It's a nut house here, and I can live
with most things, generally, as the 'perfect' home will be saved for when
the kids move out lol, but at times, it gets so out of hand.
| |
| kevinsmom 2006-08-16, 5:25 pm |
| "MAmadurk" <MAmadurk@jedidiah.net> wrote in message
news:mTHEg.7737$oa1.94@news02.roc.ny...
one[color=darkred]
shreds[color=darkred]
>
> I locked every pair of scissors wee owned in a box (security type lock
box)
> once for a LONG time. Scissors became a "controlled sunstance" for this
> very reason.
>
>
> It is very hard to keep up with normal housework without having to
> constantly monitor who is doing what where all the time.
When Kevin was little he had to keep all his inside toys in his room. It
usually looked like a tornado hit but it wasn't scattered all over.
--
You can't have everything.....where would you put it?
| |
| New Leaf 2006-08-16, 5:25 pm |
|
xkatx wrote:
>[snipped] >
> Yes, although I'm not sure 'mature' goes hand in hand with him at times. He
> hounds the boys to take their dishes from the table after meals - very good
> habit to get into, AFAIC, yet *I* pick up his dishes, which drives me mad.
> If I point it out as he's leaving the table, I'm nagging.
> I've left his dirty plate on the table until the next meal and then I end up
> just picking it up anyways (about 50% of the time) I also refuse to pick up
> his laundry. I make a call about laundry before I start to sort and do it -
> I round up mine and the baby's clothes, the boys have to have ALL their
> dirty clothes in the baskets provided in their rooms or they don't have
> clean clothes and the same for DH, but he usually doesn't pick up his
> clothes. If I do clearly look swamped with everything around the house, he
> DOES help, but that seems to be when I'm at the point of desperation. He
> then just goes and does MAJOR cleaning on his own and gets it done fast with
> a, "See? It didn't take long and wasn't hard!" - try that with 3 little
> ones running behind you!
>
Okay, I've been there and done that. You have a choice. If he wants to
be a child about his own things, you can either continue as you have
been, leaving them out to make a a point, or you can just pick it up
and put it out of your head. Honestly, picking up his dishes is
probably one minute and his clothes about the same, with a bit longer
added in for laundry processing. Stop nagging. Just do it. Or don't.
But don't talk about it anymore. You have a right to apply your
standards to your children, but not to your husband. It sounds like you
are doing a great job with your kids and one day their wives will thank
you that they aren't slobs like Daddy!
I can hear everyone else going, "But that's not fair." No, it's not.
He's been unfair and immature but you can eliminate a lot of stress by
just doing it.
As far as his comments about how easy it is to do the major cleaning,
that's rude and nasty BUT let him clean. Maybe even go out for a walk
and let him clean with three kids in the house.
Viv
| |
| kevinsmom 2006-08-16, 5:25 pm |
| "xkatx" <xkatx@none.com> wrote in message
news:pxJEg.9787$365.3835@edtnps89...
> Yes, although I'm not sure 'mature' goes hand in hand with him at times.
He
> hounds the boys to take their dishes from the table after meals - very
good
> habit to get into, AFAIC, yet *I* pick up his dishes, which drives me mad.
> If I point it out as he's leaving the table, I'm nagging.
> I've left his dirty plate on the table until the next meal and then I end
up
> just picking it up anyways (about 50% of the time) I also refuse to pick
up
Don't, leave his clean plate and utensils waiting on the counter. When he
sees the dried on crap waiting for him, act surprised. "Oh, you must have
forgotten to carry it to the kitchen."
--
You can't have everything.....where would you put it?
| |
| Donna in Texas 2006-08-16, 5:25 pm |
| Years ago I had a friend who, after getting tired of nagging her teenagers
to pick up their things, put a Yale lock on a big closet. When the kids
left their things where they weren't supposed to be in the den, etc., after
a period of time she just swooped the things up and put them in the closet.
I don't remember how long these things had to stay or what the kids had to
do to get them back, but apparently this was working for her.
Cheers--
Donna
| |
| Stormmee 2006-08-16, 8:25 pm |
| asking you mom for help if she isn't super critical is a great solution, she
has already been there so should have good advice, I don't have kids so
don't know what to suggest for those, Lee
xkatx <xkatx@none.com> wrote in message news:pxJEg.9787$365.3835@edtnps89...
>
> "val189" <gwehrenb@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
> news:1155743570.920043.58850@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...
>
> I've actually had that same thought come to mind... He does help, on
> occasion, but he figures that since he's the one that works now, he
> shouldn't have to do everything around the house.
>
>
> Yes, although I'm not sure 'mature' goes hand in hand with him at times.
He
> hounds the boys to take their dishes from the table after meals - very
good
> habit to get into, AFAIC, yet *I* pick up his dishes, which drives me mad.
> If I point it out as he's leaving the table, I'm nagging.
> I've left his dirty plate on the table until the next meal and then I end
up
> just picking it up anyways (about 50% of the time) I also refuse to pick
up
> his laundry. I make a call about laundry before I start to sort and do
it -
> I round up mine and the baby's clothes, the boys have to have ALL their
> dirty clothes in the baskets provided in their rooms or they don't have
> clean clothes and the same for DH, but he usually doesn't pick up his
> clothes. If I do clearly look swamped with everything around the house,
he
> DOES help, but that seems to be when I'm at the point of desperation. He
> then just goes and does MAJOR cleaning on his own and gets it done fast
with
> a, "See? It didn't take long and wasn't hard!" - try that with 3 little
> ones running behind you!
>
>
> Hired help is kind of out of the question, as there's not enough money to
> hire someone to do what needs to always be done! lol
> I am thinking, though, to swallow my pride and see if my mom is available
> one day to help me get everything in order... Sort through what is needed
> and what isn't, toss, give away, garage sale whatever is garbage,
unwanted,
> not used... I look around and wonder what's going on around here!
There's
> just too much stuff for this little space, but I'm sure a lot of it could
go
> and not be missed.
>
> ANY suggestions would probably help! It's a nut house here, and I can
live
> with most things, generally, as the 'perfect' home will be saved for when
> the kids move out lol, but at times, it gets so out of hand.
>
>
| |
| Stormmee 2006-08-16, 8:25 pm |
| or look desperate more often, Lee
New Leaf <nootka@rogers.com> wrote in message
news:1155755136.411384.262990@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
>
> xkatx wrote:
He[color=darkred]
good[color=darkred]
mad.[color=darkred]
end up[color=darkred]
up[color=darkred]
it -[color=darkred]
he[color=darkred]
He[color=darkred]
with[color=darkred]
> Okay, I've been there and done that. You have a choice. If he wants to
> be a child about his own things, you can either continue as you have
> been, leaving them out to make a a point, or you can just pick it up
> and put it out of your head. Honestly, picking up his dishes is
> probably one minute and his clothes about the same, with a bit longer
> added in for laundry processing. Stop nagging. Just do it. Or don't.
> But don't talk about it anymore. You have a right to apply your
> standards to your children, but not to your husband. It sounds like you
> are doing a great job with your kids and one day their wives will thank
> you that they aren't slobs like Daddy!
>
> I can hear everyone else going, "But that's not fair." No, it's not.
> He's been unfair and immature but you can eliminate a lot of stress by
> just doing it.
>
> As far as his comments about how easy it is to do the major cleaning,
> that's rude and nasty BUT let him clean. Maybe even go out for a walk
> and let him clean with three kids in the house.
>
> Viv
>
| |
| Stormmee 2006-08-16, 8:25 pm |
| similar to the bad toy box of my sisters, Lee
Donna in Texas <donna.mr@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:U5CdnVFvm5wnCX7ZnZ2dnUVZ_rSdnZ2d@comcast.com...
> Years ago I had a friend who, after getting tired of nagging her teenagers
> to pick up their things, put a Yale lock on a big closet. When the kids
> left their things where they weren't supposed to be in the den, etc.,
after
> a period of time she just swooped the things up and put them in the
closet.
>
> I don't remember how long these things had to stay or what the kids had to
> do to get them back, but apparently this was working for her.
>
> Cheers--
>
> Donna
>
>
| |
| Stormmee 2006-08-16, 8:25 pm |
| my sister says that the reason bedrooms have doors is so moms don't beat
their children, Le
kevinsmom <kevinsmom@invalid.invalid> wrote in message
news:12e6pncfk1nv2c2@corp.supernews.com...
> "MAmadurk" <MAmadurk@jedidiah.net> wrote in message
> news:mTHEg.7737$oa1.94@news02.roc.ny...
> one
paper,[color=darkred]
> shreds
> box)
>
>
> When Kevin was little he had to keep all his inside toys in his room. It
> usually looked like a tornado hit but it wasn't scattered all over.
>
> --
> You can't have everything.....where would you put it?
>
>
| |
| sweetchild 2006-08-17, 3:25 am |
| rotf...my neighbors 4yo cut his bangs to the top with his play scissors the
other day....
I only have one preschooler-- the rest are adult men-- now a 21 yo middle
son who will be going back to college very soon..the 22yo stayed there this
summer-- thank god---- and a 40 yo DH...and they are worse than the 4yo
believe me...slobs at heart......
I do what I can.. I try to do hot spots daily at the very least and then
say-- it'll get done tomorrow...no sense going insane as it undoes itself
fast..
I do make the 4yo clean up with me-- and we try to have certain times to
organize his stuff ..I find that many little plastic boxes with flip top
lids help for all of the small things he has... he likes to organize too--
somewhat OCD in nature...and unlike my older 2 were at that age but he is
alone basically so he is different -- no fighting and competition unless one
of the adult sons becomes infantile with impatience and that happens on a
rare occasion...
Hang in there...no one can be perfect.. for...they would really be insane!
Peg
"Jenn/Jalynne" <craftigirl@earthstink.net> wrote in message
news:tXHEg.6678$Qf.4905@newsread2.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> And here I thought I was the only one who locked up the scissors.
>
> --
> Jenn/Jalynne
> quilting, beads, scrapbooking, cross stitch and other 'crafti' obsessions
> http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jalynne29/my_photos
> Live! http://kinneykreations.com
>
>
>
>
>
| |
|
|
"kevinsmom" <kevinsmom@invalid.invalid> wrote in message
news:12e6sbj659v54b6@corp.supernews.com...
> "xkatx" <xkatx@none.com> wrote in message
> news:pxJEg.9787$365.3835@edtnps89...
> He
> good
> up
> up
>
> Don't, leave his clean plate and utensils waiting on the counter. When he
> sees the dried on crap waiting for him, act surprised. "Oh, you must
> have
> forgotten to carry it to the kitchen."
LOL That would be funny, although I know I'd have a heck of a time
pretending to be surprised. Might be worth a shot anyways!
| |
| 0tterbot 2006-08-17, 9:25 am |
| "xkatx" <xkatx@none.com> wrote in message
news:pxJEg.9787$365.3835@edtnps89...
>
> "val189" <gwehrenb@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
> news:1155743570.920043.58850@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...
>
> I've actually had that same thought come to mind... He does help, on
> occasion, but he figures that since he's the one that works now,
this is probably the origin of the whole problem - he "works" and you
don't??! come on! :-)
i am presently a housefrau - not for too much longer - but i am very
generous with what i do for dh because he does a lot for me. a calm
discussion at a good time (using "i" statements - "i feel..." "i think..."
etc) is going to be a good start, but ultimately, if he can't pick up his
bloody plate from the table, under the circumstances you describe, i'd not
be picking it up either. find a nice way to say that (if you have to, if he
can't just be reasonable), and you're on your way.
he
> shouldn't have to do everything around the house.
>
>
> Yes, although I'm not sure 'mature' goes hand in hand with him at times.
> He hounds the boys to take their dishes from the table after meals - very
> good habit to get into, AFAIC, yet *I* pick up his dishes, which drives me
> mad. If I point it out as he's leaving the table, I'm nagging.
> I've left his dirty plate on the table until the next meal and then I end
> up just picking it up anyways (about 50% of the time) I also refuse to
> pick up his laundry. I make a call about laundry before I start to sort
> and do it - I round up mine and the baby's clothes, the boys have to have
> ALL their dirty clothes in the baskets provided in their rooms or they
> don't have clean clothes and the same for DH, but he usually doesn't pick
> up his clothes. If I do clearly look swamped with everything around the
> house, he DOES help, but that seems to be when I'm at the point of
> desperation. He then just goes and does MAJOR cleaning on his own and
> gets it done fast with a, "See? It didn't take long and wasn't hard!" -
> try that with 3 little ones running behind you!
>
>
> Hired help is kind of out of the question, as there's not enough money to
> hire someone to do what needs to always be done! lol
> I am thinking, though, to swallow my pride and see if my mom is available
> one day to help me get everything in order... Sort through what is needed
> and what isn't, toss, give away, garage sale whatever is garbage,
> unwanted, not used... I look around and wonder what's going on around
> here! There's just too much stuff for this little space, but I'm sure a
> lot of it could go and not be missed.
>
> ANY suggestions would probably help! It's a nut house here, and I can
> live with most things, generally, as the 'perfect' home will be saved for
> when the kids move out lol, but at times, it gets so out of hand.
your kids are quite little, there's much to be done, and it's good you don't
have very high expectations ;-)
start training up the boys so they get into good habits (at their ages, just
picking up after themselves a bit more, & doing errands for you on request,
is enough imo.) my 7 y.o. can be frightfully unhelpful at times, but no
doubt about it, the things which are just always expected, he does pretty
much automatically, & that's where you want to be with them at that age.
it's a massive help just if they will keep themselves & their own things in
order & be able to help with odd jobs when you ask. and for goodness sake,
put those scissors away ;-)
with the kids, remember to be positive - always try to notice what they
_have_ achieved, tried hard with, done a good job on, or remembered
spontaneously without being asked, & they'll be much more enthusiastic about
ingraining the habits & they will feel appreciated & much more willing to
help out, too.
i think your idea of calling your mum for a day or two while you do a really
big clean out is a good one (i'm not sure where pride is involved...? if you
& she have a bit of a weird relationship, just tell her you're nesting in
preparation for the new baby :-) if there IS stuff you should probably keep
but nowhere for it to go, think about how you could store or organise it
better.
kylie
| |
| Catherine Fiorello 2006-08-17, 9:25 am |
| On Thu, 17 Aug 2006 11:49:30 +0000, 0tterbot wrote:
> with the kids, remember to be positive - always try to notice what they
> _have_ achieved, tried hard with, done a good job on, or remembered
> spontaneously without being asked, & they'll be much more enthusiastic
> about ingraining the habits & they will feel appreciated & much more
> willing to help out, too.
This works with husbands, too.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/f...92e3132&ei=5070
--
Cathy F
“Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its
being extolled, but some people's idea of it is that they are free to say
what they like, but if anyone else says anything back, that is an
outrage.†--Winston Churchill
| |
| kevinsmom 2006-08-17, 1:25 pm |
| "xkatx" <xkatx@none.com> wrote in message
news:93TEg.11522$tP4.10585@clgrps12...
>
he[color=darkred]
>
> LOL That would be funny, although I know I'd have a heck of a time
> pretending to be surprised. Might be worth a shot anyways!
Let everyone know ahead of time you'll be doing that and do the same for the
kids. My kid found a way to remind himself to do his laundry after having
to wear dirty clothes to school once. Having to carry the dirty dishes to
the kitchen and bring back the clean ones before eating will help everyone
remember without nagging.
--
You can't have everything.....where would you put it?
| |
| Phisherman 2006-08-17, 5:25 pm |
| On 16 Aug 2006 08:52:50 -0700, "val189" <gwehrenb@bellsouth.net>
wrote:
>
>xkatx wrote:
>... I have a hubby who just kind of leaves
>
>You have FOUR children there, not three.......why isn't he willing to
>give you a hand? Have you had a mature discussion with him about this?
> Can you get some hired help for a while? I hear the strain in your
>post.
>
>Maybe others here with a brood can make suggestions. Guys?
Hubby needs a little training. There are very effective ways and he
won't know what's going on. Psychology 101
| |
| Dr. Sooz 2006-08-17, 5:25 pm |
| LOL! Once their iPod goes into that closet, they'll pick up everything
and anything!
`````````````````````````````````
Donna in Texas wrote:
> Years ago I had a friend who, after getting tired of nagging her teenagers
> to pick up their things, put a Yale lock on a big closet. When the kids
> left their things where they weren't supposed to be in the den, etc., after
> a period of time she just swooped the things up and put them in the closet.
>
> I don't remember how long these things had to stay or what the kids had to
> do to get them back, but apparently this was working for her.
>
> Cheers--
>
> Donna
| |
| val189 2006-08-18, 9:25 am |
|
Stormmee wrote:
> similar to the bad toy box of my sisters, Lee
My father chucked everything out in the yard once - got tired of
coming in and seeing coat, books etc on the dining room table. The
embarassment of having to go out and collect the stuff cured me fast.
He used to say I would plop things on 'any flat surface' with a
disdainful look. He hated to go to harpy cousin's house - you had to
literally shove stuff over in order to sit on any chair. He said she'd
rather gossip and cause trouble than clean and pick up. He had her
number forty years ago - he was right.
| |
| Stormmee 2006-08-18, 1:25 pm |
| relatives can be the pits, Lee, working up to her grandmother's birthday
party
val189 <gwehrenb@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
news:1155910992.759278.110430@75g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
>
> Stormmee wrote:
>
> My father chucked everything out in the yard once - got tired of
> coming in and seeing coat, books etc on the dining room table. The
> embarassment of having to go out and collect the stuff cured me fast.
> He used to say I would plop things on 'any flat surface' with a
> disdainful look. He hated to go to harpy cousin's house - you had to
> literally shove stuff over in order to sit on any chair. He said she'd
> rather gossip and cause trouble than clean and pick up. He had her
> number forty years ago - he was right.
>
| |
|
| Hi, can anyone suggest a 'method' of tidying up masses of clutter in a small
house. my problem is that i hate to throw stuff out, but now have so much
junk everywhere.
if i had an organised method of some kind to follow and do a little at a
time it would really help.
| |
| Stormmee 2006-09-01, 9:25 am |
| 1. I started in my closets because it is a defined space, and when done
closets are easily maintained.
2. I did less used areas first so they would stay nice longer.
3. I used my TV room to put things I couldn't decide about. It slows things
down if you agonize over every item so going through several times seems to
work better for me.
4 get a trash bag for trash and a container for things you can't decide
about. then when you find a thing you do want put it in the room it needs
to be. its fine if you have lots of can't decide, just get rid of the trash
and sort what you want, then you can do another round later.
5. I might be alone in this but it finally started working for me when I
did all the "hidden" areas first, closets and drawers, kitchen cabinets... I
think this is because when I got these done I actually had places to put
things, I knew how much space it was and I simply got rid of what wouldn't
fit... post often and let us know how you are doing, ask questions here,
someone will know how to help, Lee
Torge <vacuous632@voidacious.net> wrote in message
news:%xQJg.2822$wo3.1646@newsfe7-gui.ntli.net...
> Hi, can anyone suggest a 'method' of tidying up masses of clutter in a
small
> house. my problem is that i hate to throw stuff out, but now have so
much
> junk everywhere.
>
> if i had an organised method of some kind to follow and do a little at a
> time it would really help.
>
>
| |
| Barbara in CT 2006-09-01, 9:25 am |
| Start by preventing new stuff from coming in. If you live in a small
house you must be more ruthless about getting rid of things that you
don't use. Google this group for Brenda's Bible. She has been there
and cleaned out a ton of stuff from her late father. It doesn't happen
quickly no matter how ambitious you are. Take " before" pictures and
compare them to your situation a year from now.
Barbara in CT
Torge wrote:
> Hi, can anyone suggest a 'method' of tidying up masses of clutter in a small
> house. my problem is that i hate to throw stuff out, but now have so much
> junk everywhere.
>
> if i had an organised method of some kind to follow and do a little at a
> time it would really help.
>
>
| |
| Torgeaa 2006-09-01, 9:25 am |
|
"Barbara in CT" <nawdsley@ntplx.net> wrote in message
news:1eUJg.4465$tU.25@newssvr21.news.prodigy.com...[color=darkred]
> Start by preventing new stuff from coming in. If you live in a small
> house you must be more ruthless about getting rid of things that you don't
> use. Google this group for Brenda's Bible. She has been there and
> cleaned out a ton of stuff from her late father. It doesn't happen
> quickly no matter how ambitious you are. Take " before" pictures and
> compare them to your situation a year from now.
>
> Barbara in CT
>
> Torge wrote:
>
thanks to all. i did a search for Brenda's Bible, but it didnt bring
anything up other than your post here. any other suggestions to find it
please?[color=darkred]
| |
| val189 2006-09-01, 1:25 pm |
|
Torge wrote:
.. my problem is that i hate to throw stuff out, but now have so much
> junk everywhere.
What kind of stuff? Magazines, clothes, books, bricabrac - give us
some specifics and we can prob. make suggestions.
Personally, I would start with the room that bugs you the most. You
could play this game - in that room, pretend you are moving and can
only take 5 items. This might highlight those things you hold dear.
Is it that you have too much stuff, or that's it's disorganized or
both? Is it that you have a problem with putting things away?
Try again for Brenda's Bible - it's there. We also can direct you to
threads on displosing of books, clothes, laundry stratefy, etc. Good
luck.
| |
|
|
"Torgeaa" <vacuous632@voidacious.net> wrote in message
news:g%WJg.1376$Mh2.62@newsfe6-win.ntli.net...
>
> "Barbara in CT" <nawdsley@ntplx.net> wrote in message
> news:1eUJg.4465$tU.25@newssvr21.news.prodigy.com...
>
> thanks to all. i did a search for Brenda's Bible, but it didnt bring
> anything up other than your post here. any other suggestions to find it
> please?
>
This is crossposted to two groups.
Which group did you google?
If it was alt.home.cleaning, probably didn't find it. I dont't remember
Brenda's Bible, and I've been coming here for years.
peggo
| |
| kevinsmom 2006-09-01, 1:25 pm |
| "Torgeaa" <vacuous632@voidacious.net> wrote in message
news:g%WJg.1376$Mh2.62@newsfe6-win.ntli.net...
>
> "Barbara in CT" <nawdsley@ntplx.net> wrote in message
> news:1eUJg.4465$tU.25@newssvr21.news.prodigy.com...
don't[color=darkred]
have[color=darkred]
a[color=darkred]
>
> thanks to all. i did a search for Brenda's Bible, but it didnt bring
> anything up other than your post here. any other suggestions to find it
> please?
There are several copies of it as it has been reposted a few times, one is
at:
http://tinyurl.com/foa73 or
http://groups.google.com/group/alt....de=source&hl=en
--
You can't have everything.....where would you put it?
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| Torgeaa 2006-09-01, 5:25 pm |
|
"kevinsmom" <kevinsmom@invalid.invalid> wrote in message
news:12fglncgg623o92@corp.supernews.com...
> "Torgeaa" <vacuous632@voidacious.net> wrote in message
> news:g%WJg.1376$Mh2.62@newsfe6-win.ntli.net...
> don't
> have
> a
>
> There are several copies of it as it has been reposted a few times, one is
> at:
> http://tinyurl.com/foa73 or
> http://groups.google.com/group/alt....de=source&hl=en
thanks. yep it was on the other group...silly me! ive copied it here for
anyone else interested. its good stuff thanks.
Barbara in CT (Brenda's Bible follows)
Welcome!
I posted the following a while ago and some suggested that I should
re-post it when new posters arrived.
The first thing I think one should do is to stop the incoming flow of
new clutter. This will take the effort of making a conscious decision to
adopt some new habits. Take care of new clutter as soon as it
arrives. Throw out junk mail. It doesn't all need to be shredded, just
the stuff with personal info on it. If you don't like throwing it out with
your address intact on it, just rip off your address and throw out the
rest. Shred the address later.
Don't buy things you don't need. Really have a good think about the
stuff that lines the checkouts in stores--it's there because they know
you are likely to be susceptible to buying that stuff in an unplanned
purchase. Some people find it helps to make a list before they go
shopping and only buy what is on the list. Never go grocery shopping
when you're hungry.
Don't accept "gifts" that you don't need, like when people are moving
and they offer to give you their living room suite. If you don't need
living room furniture, say "No thanks!"
Don't accept offers of free samples and other freebies unless you
are really going to try them or use them. If you hoard, try to stop it.
Don't buy a year's worth of something if you don't have room to store
it, no matter how good the price is.
Assign "homes" to items you use and keep them there. When you
use them, put them back in their home when you're done.
Unsubscribe to magazines you don't ever read--sometimes you get
a pro-rated refund. Check out your local library instead of buying
books.
When you first get started, don't worry so much about recycling.
Excuse yourself from it until things are under control. Then, start by
creating an oasis. Choose a small area of your house--like a front
entrance hall, a coffee table, etc., something that will be quick and
easy--and declutter it, clean it, make it look attractive, and then make
a commitment to keep it that way. This can be your starting
point--work out from there.
Another way to go at it is to first throw out all of the stuff that would be
easiest to get rid of--like a collection of seemingly useful newspapers
in the garage--or your collection of empty grocery bags, mayo jars,
out-dated makeup, etc.
Another way to get started is to choose something BIG to get rid of
that will make an instantly noticeable improvement in your home--like
a broken down car on the front lawn--call the junk yard and have it
towed away—the worn out chair that no one sits in because the
sprung springs are uncomfortable.
Some people get three containers and label them:
to throw away
to keep
to donate
Then they get a timer, take their containers into their chosen area to
work, and start sorting in 10 or 15 minute intervals. Then they take a
break and do something they like, such as have a cup of coffee, play
a computer game, etc., and then go back and do a bit more. Many
find it helpful to listen to the radio or their favorite music or watch TV
while they are doing this. When sorting, some people find it helps to
put like things together, i.e. stack all the books in one corner, all of
the clothes in another, etc. If you end up with a pile of items that you
are "not sure" about--might need them someday--might become
highly collectible and valuable--might get interested in this hobby,
book, etc. again--put them in a box, seal it up and put the date on it
and store it away. Decide how long you are going to wait--a month, a
year, etc.--and see if you have to go into that box to retrieve
something during that time period. If at the end of your deadline, you
haven't had to retrieve anything from that box, don't open it. Donate it
still sealed to a charity. I often do this, only I use trash bags, and I
leave it sitting in the way in the garage. When I can't remember what
is in it and I am tired of working around it, I load it in the car and take
it to the Goodwill drop off. This is very painless since I don't look in it
to remind myself of what is in there, plus the garage is instantly
easier to move around in, which gives me a sort of "instant
gratification" (I only have a very small area that I can walk in the
garage--BIG clutter problem out there).
One thing that I had a hard time realizing is the value of decluttering
closets, drawers, cupboards, etc. I used to think that they didn't have
a high priority because you could shut the door--close the drawer
--and the mess "disappeared." However, when your storage areas
are already full of useless stuff you don't need, you don't have
anywhere to put the things you do need and use so they sit around
appearing to be clutter.
Probably the best method is the "one small thing" method. Throw out
or put away at least one thing every day. Usually you will find yourself
doing more. This way at least some progress is made every
day--and it stops the downslide.
Something that may be a good idea if you have an overflow of
antiques—call an auctioneer and have it auctioned off.
Posting what you have done, problems you are having, etc. to this
group helps me a great deal. People here are not judgmental but
supportive and very helpful. Plus, reading what others have done can
be very inspirational and keep you going if you get discouraged.
Don't try to "binge" declutter." It doesn't work. The clutter will return
after your decluttering marathon and you will become discouraged.
The key to success is to keep a steady rhythm of progress going
while you are creating the new habits. Slow and steady wins the race.
You'll find that as time goes by you not only make noticeable
progress, it will become easier to let things go because you will begin
to see how nice a room could really look without the clutter, and how
nice it would be to use that room. Good luck. We're all pulling for
you--because we're all there--or have been there.
Brenda (who is there)
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