| JennyC 2005-11-26, 9:21 am |
| Seeing as it's probably a bit cold outside to do much gardening............
>Imagine the conversation The Creator might have had with St. Francis on the
>subject of lawns:
>
>GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is
>going on down there? What happened to the dandelions,violets, thistle and
>stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan.Those
>plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with
>abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies,
>honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of
>colours by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
>
>ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
>They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill
>them and replace them with grass.
>
>GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't attract
>butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms.It's temperamental
>with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing
>there?
>
>ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and
>keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning
>any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
>
>GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast.
>That must make the homeowners happy.
>
>ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut
>it-sometimes twice a week.
>
>GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?
>
>ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in
>bags.
>
>GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
>
>ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
>
>GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow.
>And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
>
>St. Francis: Yes, Sir.
>
>God: These Earthlings must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the
>rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a
>lot of work.
>
>St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops
>growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they
>can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
>
>God: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer
>stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the
>spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall
>to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and
>protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to
>enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
>
>St. Francis: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new
>circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay
>to have them hauled away.
>
>God: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter
>and to keep the soil moist and loose?
>
>St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something
>which they call mulch. The haul it home and spread it around in place of
>the leaves.
>
>God: And where do they get this mulch?
>
>St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
>
>God: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine,
>you're in charge of the arts. What movie have they scheduled for us
>tonight?
>
>St. Catherine: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about.....
>
>God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
Jenny :~))
(Rotterdam the Netherlands)
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